A Tuesday, Unremarked
by satomobile
Summary: It is a Tuesday this year. Like any other, but markedly different. Linzin angst. Oneshot.


_"__Its a Tuesday this year," _was the first thought Tenzin registered that morning.

The sun was just rising, spearing sunbeams through the bamboo slats of his bedroom window. He wasn't sure why, but no matter how tightly he shut them the sun still found his eyes without fail each morning. In a haze, he grunted a bit as he rolled over, turning away from the light.

For a moment at least.

"Honey? Aren't you going to get up?"

It was Pema's bell-like voice, high and chipper, as bright as the morning itself -singing sweetly in his ear. They had been married just over two months and he was still adjusting to her morning song.

He opened his eyes to find her smiling and dutifully he returned it. His smile wasn't exactly genuine, but it served its purpose.

"Are you leading meditation today?"

"No, not today," he replied.

Pema smiled wickedly, dropping her hand to the inside of his elbow and walking her fingers suggestively upward, "So you have some free time then?"

Tenzin sighed, "Not particularly. I planned to get into work a little early. I still have a fair bit of preparation to do for the budget meeting today."

He caught the look of disappointment on his wife's face out of the corner of his eye. One hand reached out, covering hers, "I'm sorry." Her face was passive and so Tenzin pulled her hand closer and brushed a sleepy kiss across her knuckles.

She pulled back, pushing herself out of their bed, "I'll start breakfast," she called over her shoulder as she departed.

Tenzin exhaled, fixing his gaze along the blank ceiling. His eyes lingered there as his head and his heart fought quietly inside his body. His head told him to get up, get ready for work. Alternately, his heart insisted that he lay there for the remainder of the day- quite possibly the rest of eternity- and ponder the enormity of the feeling inside him. It was guilt, sadness, regret, and loss- a maelstrom of emotion that gave his ardently logical mind a run for its money.

It seemed the heart was winning when he felt a stinging in his eye, but Pema was in his corner- she poked her head in just in time cut his emotional release at the quick, "Tenzin? I thought you had to be up?"

She lifted her eyebrow playfully and Tenzin was grateful that the angle from which she viewed him skewed his appearance enough to disguise the single tear that escaped. With a heavy sigh he dragged his hands down his face, clearing away the evidence, "I'm up. I'm up."

Breakfast was a challenge._ "It's a Tuesday this year,"_ repeated in his mind, threatening to drown out the sound of Pema's positive tone. He drank his tea quickly- avoiding discussion by filling his mouth and hiding his solemn face behind a broadsheet newspaper, which unapologetically displayed today's date to him all the while. As if he could forget.

When it was finally time to go, he did so without a second look. Pema must have sensed something was off this morning because her parting kiss was accepted by an indifferent cheek instead of his lips.

His heart was heavy as he made his way into the city. His mind had married one woman in good faith weeks ago, but sometimes when he wasn't particularly concentrating on his vow, his mind wandered- hijacked by his heart.

It happened in flashes- visions of green lace and pale skin, bruised lips and her arching back. They would come from nowhere, send his heart racing in the middle of the day only to be ushered back out by his good sense in the blink of an eye.

That wasn't the worst of it- sometimes she visited him on a breeze, the smell of sandalwood tickling his nose until he could swear he might turn his head and bury his face in her hair once again, pursing his lips just so they met the back of her neck. It made him smile, though he ought not to, and once realizing this-he would frown.

So far, his morning was made of these lost moments and they came at him quicker and quicker as he proceeded to City Hall. He walked briskly in an attempt to shut out the city, which refused to fade into the background, thrusting memories at him instead.

He tripped over the curb crossing the street where they shared their first kiss as the metal visage of her mother looked on from her post judgmentally.

He could practically hear Toph ridicule him as he straightened himself out.

Determined to distract his mind as he strode past Police Headquarters, Tenzin looked up. A police airship loomed overhead. He sighed.

He anticipated being rid of her specter once he passed through the square, but turning the corner he passed a flower vendor. The same one he had purchased a bouquet of panda lilies from every single year on this very day. She always rolled her eyes when she saw them, but she smiled too. The flower vendor bowed his head as Tenzin passed as if he too remembered.

When he finally arrived at City Hall he breathed a premature sigh of relief. He dove into his budget papers with gusto, organizing each proposal into neat stacks, setting out his notes and the preliminary allocations he had come up with on his own. First hearing on the docket was the Department of Sanitation.

There was a knock on his door and Tenzin looked up as the Council Page made his way inside.

"Councilman Tenzin," he bowed, "I just wanted to deliver today's schedule to you."

Tenzin looked up, confused, "I have the schedule already."

"There have been some revisions," the Page reported, passing a sheet of paper across the desk that separated them.

Toward the top of the page at 10am where the Department of Transportation had once been, read the bold unyielding words, "**10am: Police Department Budget Proposal Hearing**".

"Thank you," Tenzin offered, never taking his eyes off the paper.

His motivation sapped, Tenzin sat back in his chair, eyes trained on the words as the Page took his leave.

_It was a Tuesday this year. _

Last year it was a Monday. He remembers because there was a pro-bending match on the radio- a sport that only takes place on Monday or Saturday nights. He departed work that evening a little earlier than usual, stopping at the flower vendor to pick up his panda lilies. They weren't cheap and she didn't nurse them at all once they were back in the house, but it was tradition and Tenzin was nothing if not traditional.

He arrived at her office around 5pm, poking his head in the door. She looked up from her papers, smiled and asked, "What? No Panda Lilies?"

And so he produced them to her amusement. What she hadn't been expecting was the extra spicy pumpkin curry take-out that he held in the other hand. She beamed at the sight of it, so touched that she actually stood and came around her desk to greet him. With a light hand on his cheek she leaned in for a kiss, "Tenzin," she hummed, slightly drawn out the way she did when she was feeling sentimental, " Thank you! I was just thinking how badly I wanted some pumpkin curry."

"I suppose after this long, I'm getting pretty good at predicting your tastes," he joked.

Lin smiled again, leaning in for a second kiss, "Happy Anniversary."

They ate in her office. The real plans were a weekend away to begin the following Friday.

They never made it.

An argument on Thursday evening about having children halted their romantic getaway indefinitely.

In the present, Tenzin read the Council Schedule through blurring vision. There wasn't much time to dwell on the past as it was nearly time to hear from the head of Sanitation. Grateful for the distraction, Tenzin stood, sniffling once before heading out to the main chambers.

The session passed slowly.

Tenzin took plenty of notes, diligently recording all the numbers that were discussed, scrawling calculations in the margins beside his mindless doodles. Between sessions he checked his math. It was terribly off and Tenzin blinked twice to clear his mind when he heard her approaching. Her metal clad footfalls were unmistakable in the echoing hall.

The page appeared, "The Council will now welcome Chief Beifong, Captain Saikhan and Lieutenant Ki.

Tenzin swallowed; back stiffening as Lin entered the room flanked by her subordinates.

She entered, hair shorter than the last time they met, green eyes sharper, complexion smooth and clear as ever. Simply put, the memory of her beauty was no match for its corporeal counterpart. All the reminiscing of sight and sound were lost to him now and the only memory he yearned for was that of touch.

"Good Morning, Council," she greeted them evenly, voice smooth and low.

With the formalities out of the way, she began her proposal, outlining her staffing needs and the proposed cost. Tenzin jotted his notes as she spoke, slightly distracted by her presence. It seemed she was refusing to meet his eyes, training her line sight on the other members of the Council instead. Alternately, Tenzin couldn't seem to tear his eyes away from her for more than seconds at a time.

He noticed his doodles had become a little more fanciful with Lin in attendance and he scribbled out a small heart to make room for a quick summation.

He understood that he should be listening to her, but the numbers seemed lost to him when spoken in her voice. He missed the sound of it, even the coolness it embodied in formal settings like these.

He wondered if she felt the same emptiness when she woke this morning. If her chest ached with loss when she saw the date written across the newspaper at breakfast, if her eyes stung when she passed the stand of panda lilies as she made her way to City Hall. He wondered, but understood he could never ask. It was no longer his privilege to know her feelings.

The proceedings wrapped up and the clerk announced it's close, "Police Department Budget Proposal Hearing concluded at 11:06am, March 14, 158 A.G."

Lin stood, just as Saikan and Ki ordered their papers. Ki was busy scribbling a few final notations when Tenzin overheard him ask, just above a whisper, "shit. Is today Tuesday or Wednesday?"

"It's a Tuesday this year," Lin replied without hesitation.

He knew it then- that their silent pain was shared- he knew it certainly without the confirmation her watery eyes provided as she turned away to leave. He swallowed, choking down the lump that rose in his throat as she disappeared through the doorway.

It's a Tuesday this year. Next year it will be a likely be a Wednesday. The days move forward, and with a shuddering breath and wipe of his eyes, Tenzin decides he must do the same.


End file.
